Life isn't going to be the same no more

After 2 years, the pandemic is finally over. Lol.

Mr. President just released the 'no mask' rule for outdoor activity, and people allowed to mudik for lebaran this year. Finally, eh?

And, breaking news; i just gave birth to pandemic baby last February. The labor was so intense and relieved at the same time - and all came natural. It was February 15th, my water heavily broke  at the dawn, so we rush to the provider shortly. My husband were a little panicked driving, while me & my mom were still calmly telling a joke around - just to make the situation a little less intense. When we arrived, our doctor wasn't there, so the midwife came to check the dilation & did a CTG. Surprise, surprise it was only 1cm dilated. But since the water already broke, to avoid the infection to the baby, she decided to do the induction.

It was 7am in the morning that she told me to have a breakfast as many as I can just to gain more energy, and then i got induced at 10am sharp. Before i got injected with anti-virus and many more that i don't remember now. Right after the induction, the contractions were surprising as hell. It was indescribable i'm going to die - i thought. 2 hours after induction, i asked to check the dilation and it was just only 2cm dilation. What the fuck?! The pain was unimaginably hurt as hell and it was just 2cm opened?! And the rest was historical. The pain at the early dilation was nothing compare to the 8cm dilation, 2 hours later at 2pm. I cried & screamed at the same time, was asking for epidural but since my provider is the clinic for natural birth they don't provide epidural procedure. 2.30pm i was lost. So lost that i told my mom (my husband was waiting outside because he couldn't handle the blood & all 🙂) that "Mah, tissa udah ga kuat lagi". My mom was panic & asked the midwife and the nurses to start the labor already. 

They came and got prepare for me to push. I pushed as by their call as much as possible since the pain is uncontrollable by then. If they told me to push i push, when they told to hold i hold eventho i really wanted to push the baby put as fast as i can. My doctor came right on time before the baby's head seen. One more i took a deep breath & pushed it again, the baby's head finally came out and the doctor pull the shoulder, and BAM. All the pain i felt since 10AM is gone right away at that very second my baby was born. At 2.50pm, my son was born with 3,62 weigh and 49,8cm heigh. I was so numb. I didn't happily cry or smile when held the baby for the first time, and i didn't feel anything as i still feel so shocked with the labor pain. I still couldn't believe that i survive this near-death experience. 

Now, my baby just turned 3 months old. I need to post how i survive the 4th trimester and the postpartum phase. It got to be in the different post because it was SO MUCH that i need to say. I waking up everyday, still feeling tired but never less grateful. I'm continuously exhausted but i got nothing to complain about. 

I can't wait for the next post.